Embrace Their Flaws?!


Finding the sexy…silly…”just them” in their ‘flaws’ is one key way Successful Couples manage each others differences.

Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Unsplash

Many of us were born into the myths + messages of ‘True Love’…complete with knights on white horses and long flowy hair ensuring that you’d be rescued from the castle tower. Maybe cutting our ‘teenage’ teeth on movies that had the ‘bad’ guy…the mysterious, silent, strong and out of step with the other ‘nice’ guys…wooing and winning…stealing THE girl from the ‘average’ nice guys.

These romantic cartoons, movies…romance novels…all often send and set an unrealistic…unhealthy message…norm…example of what romance, love…. dating and relationships + marriage are truly all about.

Don’t get me wrong! I’m a sucker for a ‘feel good’ romance escape movie or book. It’s that ‘I already know how it’s going to turn out…and I still want to watch it…over and over again’.

Remember, ‘Sleepless in Seattle’?! The widower + child magically connected with the woman of his dreams…by his son and a late-night talk show. Or ‘PS, I love you’…in which the dying husband — plans and rolls out a year long ‘pledge of his love’ to his grieving wife…lost in her life plans and dreams…leading her to ultimately find her new life career passion + strength +possible future new hubby…!

Who wouldn’t enjoy a feel-good moment…?

Like all good people, in the midst of the movie…book…audio book…we find ourselves comparing ‘US with THEM’…usually finding our US a bit lacking.

Often confused or discouraged as we compare, judge…knowing it’s only a move…not REALLY real, yet still drawn to wondering ‘why’ not me?!

Or, watching and absorbing the subtle messages…over time. That nice girls or guys are boring…dull.

That having a easy going, predictable, reliable…committed partner is unsatisfying…not real love…and our interest wavers and the relationship weakens or ends.

Over the years, I’ve sat with so many people as they ponder and debate…if they should stick with the nice ‘safe’ reliable person, partner, spouse…that doesn’t have them head or heals in passion on a daily basis… that forgets or disappoints at times…not flashy and spontaneous.

Rather consistent…kind…predictable. And they think they’ve missed out.

That this is not ‘love’.

Confusing themselves and their relationships with inaccurate and unrealistic images…of true, long lasting…lifetime love.

No one person can make our dreams come true…to WOW and WOOevery day.

We KNOW that…yet we still linger and critique us, them…our marriage or relationship!

Let’s get clearer…break through the ‘Hollywood’ and decide what you’d like in your partner or spouse.

How do you want to show up each day in your marriage or relationship?

It takes a little bit of time + effort…and it’s worth it.

You can re spark — recreate + better — the loving, exciting, satisfying relationship you desire…dream of. (A nice side effect is that as you step up and step in…they see it and feel it…becoming more, creating more of the love you really need and want).

So, let’s start looking at the flaws…gaps and design the relationship romance + true love you both deserve.



Dr. Liz 💖Connection Coach💖

💖Dr Liz Jenkins 💖Connection Coach | Helping couples repair + reconnect with Couples Smart Restart™ 💕 75k hrs of exp | 35 yrs married | LMFT + Cert Coach