Goodnight My Love

Dr. Liz 💖Connection Coach💖
2 min readMar 25, 2021

Avoiding the question…avoiding them?!

Photo by Konstantin Dyadyun on Unsplash

At the end of the day when the house has shut down…cellphones parked and TV’s off…kids tucked in bed and critters ‘outside for the last time’ + bedded down as well…and all is quiet…is a perfect time to reassure your love of their importance.

Yet, you are tired…your love is tired. It’s been a long day. Your brains are weary or distracted. Maybe already dreading the alarm and call to start a new day.

In the past you both might have avoided the question lingering in the air as you both collapse into bed…you know that question. Are we going to be intimate tonight? Do I have the energy if they ask? What will be their response if I ask?

Sometimes, especially when energy is low…connecting in an emotionally intimate way is the best first or maybe only step needed…that night.

Rolling over in bed, looking over at them with a simple statement such as, “I really appreciate you offering to do (fill in the blank) tonight when you saw how tired I was,” ….is huge! It lets your spouse or partner know you noticed, and they are appreciated.

Reaching out in some small way each evening can become a cherished ritual that helps to cement your bond. Build your appreciation for each other and create a pattern of connection via emotional intimacy.

Having an emotional ritual or habit of connection…helps both of you stop avoiding those awkward moments that often happen for couples. Just saying ‘thank you…you are important in my life’ goes a very long way to bridging the gap.

These are just a few suggestions to inspire you to create your own romance rituals.

It’s really up to you … it’s not mandatory to incorporate a ritual for each part of your day but do a deep dive and consider the types of actions that would be most meaningful in your relationship.

There is a reason why we often get so excited about ‘Wednesday’ AKA …Humpday! Why? Because it signifies, we are partway/halfway through our busy workweek…so consider adding a special ritual for coming together midweek…simple, fun, indulgent…just keep the spark going strong.

Consider adding a fun, simple…relaxing ritual to end the day…together!



Dr. Liz 💖Connection Coach💖

💖Dr Liz Jenkins 💖Connection Coach | Helping couples repair + reconnect with Couples Smart Restart™ 💕 75k hrs of exp | 35 yrs married | LMFT + Cert Coach