How to get your spouse’s attention…keeping it short and sweet!

Dr. Liz 💖Connection Coach💖
2 min readMar 13, 2021

Learn how to get your husband, wife, partner’s attention when you are upset, hurt, angry or just excited and share your thoughts in a way they can listen and understand.

Have you ever had a conversation where you’re the listener and it goes on and on and on?!

Remember those lectures from your parents…where they repeated the same thing over and over? And…you’re like, I got it. I got it, I got it! Okay!?

Well, today’s little tip is all about the very same…run on ‘talking’ loop that we often fall in to.

It’s a normal, typical kind of thing that can pop up in your conversations when you’re talking to your loved one or anyone in general… especially if you’re feeling very passionate about the topic!

(AKA) there’s some kind of emotion…maybe a lot of emotion…anger, hurt, frustration…and we tend to stop being logical, get lost in the the energy of the emotion + moment and run with it.

#1 Tip Starts with you.

Even if you’re passionate, excited…enraged….consumed with the topic, conversation…moment….


Check in with yourself.

Check in with them.

Ask them…do they understand what you’re trying to say? Do they get what you’re trying to share with them?!

All right?! They are nodding, encouraging…on track with the topic…your intent of the conversation? Great!

Then continue…being sure you ask what do they think so far.

Why? Because you still have more to tell them. More to share because you’re really upset or excited about it. And you just might be so ‘passionate’ about the whatever…that you are jumping around, missing things…repeating, raising your voice, getting loud… losing their interest or ability to stay in the conversation with you.

I know you know what you’re thinking…what you want to share.

Key is you want to (need to) make sure they’re on track with the topic, the direction you are taking…what you want them to know…how you want them to share, reply, process…as a result of this conversation.

Extra bonus, it allows you a couple moments to calm yourself, take that break (breathe), be silent. Making sure you’re not this rapid gunfire, robo robot…talking emoting…conversation monologue.

By stopping… you’re pausing and you’re asking questions.

Meaning you care what they think, you’re hearing them…and then hopefully you’re both in better place to pick up the conversation or confirm that we’re on the same track and all is good.



Dr. Liz 💖Connection Coach💖

💖Dr Liz Jenkins 💖Connection Coach | Helping couples repair + reconnect with Couples Smart Restart™ 💕 75k hrs of exp | 35 yrs married | LMFT + Cert Coach