Is “Busy” the Third Person in Your Relationship?

Time to Reclaim What Truly Matters

Dr. Liz 💖Connection Coach💖
3 min readOct 24, 2023
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Life is a whirlwind. Our days fill up quickly between work deadlines, parenting responsibilities, and social commitments.

But in this perpetual busyness, have we inadvertently allowed “busy” to become a third entity in our relationships?

Let’s pause momentarily to consider how we might reclaim time for what truly matters: each other.

The Illusion of Busyness

Being “busy” has become somewhat of the norm, even a status symbol for some. It gives the illusion of importance, of being needed. But at what cost? Relationships often get sidelined in a rush to accomplish everything on our to-do lists. Conversations become transactional, date nights become optional, and emotional intimacy wanes. We lose the ‘us’ in the equation when constantly busy.

How Busyness Masks Relationship Gaps

Sometimes, the busyness serves a more insidious purpose. It acts as a distraction — a smoke screen that hides the issues we’re unwilling to confront in our relationship. If you’re always chasing deadlines or tending to chores, you won’t have time to face emotional gaps or misaligned goals. In such cases, busyness becomes a crutch, a way to avoid the tough conversations that might reveal cracks in the partnership.

Take The Busyness Test

Here’s a quick experiment: look at your weekly schedule and tally up the amount of time dedicated to ‘us time.’

Compare it to the time allocated for work, chores, or social commitments. If you find a significant disparity, it’s time to reprioritize.

Making Time for Each Other

Schedule ‘Us Time’: Make it non-negotiable.

Whether it’s a weekly date night or a simple coffee break, scheduling time for each other ensures that your relationship won’t be the sacrificial lamb in your busy life.

Open Communication: Let your partner in on your busy world.

Share schedules, synchronize calendars, and actively find slots to unwind together.

Reevaluate Priorities: Is that extra hour at work more important than a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner?

Make conscious choices that reflect your relationship’s significance.

Chat with an Expert: Sometimes, recognizing the issue is only half the battle.

Professional guidance can be a lifesaver if you find navigating the complexities of your busy lives challenging. Working with a Relationship or Connection Coach is a game-changer for quickly identifying the strengths and areas of opportunity in your life and relationship. Plus, focusing on the strategies that will up your game for the high-ticket activities that bring you closer to each other.

The Next Step: Ready for a Reset?

If the word “busy” has been an unwelcome third person in your relationship, it’s not too late for a reset. Relationships, like gardens, need tending to flourish. If you struggle to make time for what truly matters, I’m here to help.

Ready for real talk?

Let’s have a free, judgment-free chat. Reach out, and together we’ll transform ‘busy’ into ‘meaningfully engaged.’



Dr. Liz 💖Connection Coach💖

💖Dr Liz Jenkins 💖Connection Coach | Helping couples repair + reconnect with Couples Smart Restart™ 💕 75k hrs of exp | 35 yrs married | LMFT + Cert Coach