The Heartbeat of Love: Why Date Nights Are Essential for Relationships

Dr. Liz 💖Connection Coach💖
4 min readFeb 19, 2024
Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it’s so easy to lose sight of what matters: ourselves and our relationship.

Amidst work deadlines, household chores, and family responsibilities, carving out quality time for each other takes a backseat. Our needs and their needs drop lower and lower on the priority list, and if we’re not careful, we can drop off the list altogether.

Do you remember when you had a chance to focus on yourself? Treat yourself to a quiet Saturday morning pamper or little splurge at the store.

Do you remember when the two of you looked forward to time together? Where were so many new things to discuss and dreams to plan?

Understandably, coming together as a couple becomes a blend of you and the life you are creating together. It’s a natural part of building a lasting life and love together. Successful couples have a few things in common to keep themselves and their commitment to each other a priority.

One of their secrets is to date.

Date themselves and each other. By giving themselves space and energy, each has time to recharge personally. Reconnect with their own needs and dreams.

Dating each other is not reserved for the early stages of a relationship; it is the heartbeat of a thriving partnership. Even those couples that have neglected their relationship have found it a simple yet powerful way to reignite the spark and strengthen their bond with each other.

Dating with a busy life requires overcoming the limitations of viewing dating as only Date Nights. As soon as I mention to a couple that they might start by having regular date nights, I’m given all the reasons why that can’t happen. Babysitters, late work nights or early work starts, kids’ sports on the weekends, and the genuine cost of paying for the date activities.

I got it. I’ve been there and had the same real objections until I started thinking of date nights as date moments. Date moments are often under our noses, but we miss seeing them. They can be free and straightforward and not last long, yet the ROI on that date moment lasts a lifetime.

Consider a morning date moment where you both share an extra 15 mins over coffee before waking the kids or running off to work. Skip the TV after the kids are put to bed, bundle up to sit on the patio or porch, and catch up with each other. Listening and sharing are not a run down on everything that must be done before bed.

Date moments could be a run to the home improvement store together, planning and purchasing a minor repair or improvement. Buy a gallon of paint and create an accent wall in your home. Simple everyday dating moments help keep the two of you strong and committed.

Why bother?

Here are three great reasons to add date moments into your relationship:

  1. Rekindling Romance: Date moments provide an opportunity to escape the routine and rediscover the romance that initially brought you together. Whether it’s a candlelit dinner at home, morning coffee, or a spontaneous adventure outdoors, these moments allow you to prioritize each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
  2. Communication and Connection: Meaningful conversations often get sidelined during our busy lives. Date moments offer a dedicated space for open communication, where partners can share their thoughts, dreams, and aspirations. By actively listening to each other and engaging in genuine dialogue, couples can strengthen their emotional connection and foster greater intimacy.
  3. Shared Experiences: Sharing new experiences can reignite a relationship’s sense of adventure and excitement. Whether trying out a new hobby, exploring a new destination, or enjoying a movie night at home, these shared experiences create lasting memories and strengthen the bond between partners.

In essence, dating reminds us to prioritize our relationships amidst life’s many demands. We are taking the time to be intentional with ourselves and our partner or spouse, with the outcome making ‘US” the priority. By setting aside dedicated time to nurture our connection, we reignite the spark of romance and lay the foundation for a solid and enduring partnership.

Start by simply looking around. Is your bedroom the last room being organized or decorated? When you look in the mirror, do you see the same energized person you were before? Is your partner looking a little worse for wear?

It may be time to bring up the idea of dating moments. Moments for each other and the relationship and moments for ourselves to relax and recharge. Both are important to keeping yourselves and your relationship fresh.

Take a moment and think about what might be fun and how you could squeeze this into your already busy lives. Better yet, the two of you take a moment and start creating a list of ideas and times when that dating moment could be created.

Then, put it on the calendar, the refrigerator door, or the bathroom mirror. Set your phone alarms or calendar alerts to remind you. Create a plan and make it happen. Simple daily, weekly, and monthly date moments can redesign and reconnect without breaking the bank or calling in sitters for the kids or critters.

Just get creative and stay open to the ideas.

To help you both get going, I’ve created a unique guide, my “Love Unlocked: Creative Date Night for Couples at Home” guide. It is packed with inspiring ideas, fun activities, and thoughtful prompts designed to reignite the romance and strengthen the bond between partners. From cozy evenings to adventurous outings, each date night/moment suggestion is tailored to foster connection and create lasting memories.

Click the link here: Love Unlocked: Creative Date Night for Couples at Home or in my bio to discover the fun of date moments.

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Dr. Liz 💖Connection Coach💖

💖Dr Liz Jenkins 💖Connection Coach | Helping couples repair + reconnect with Couples Smart Restart™ 💕 75k hrs of exp | 35 yrs married | LMFT + Cert Coach